Somoscangrejos’s Weblog

July 17, 2010

How to choke, strangle, and discredit conservative news media

Filed under: Barak Obama,Humor,News,Obama,Politics,Uncategorized — somoscangrejos @ 3:00 pm

If you are a power-hungry, thin-skinned liberal politician, and there are a lot of you around these days, who does not like anyone opposing your point of view then read the following. Forget about relying on discredited members of the dated liberal news media who faint every time you breathe, members who kiss and adulate your expensively clad skinny or bodacious butt every time there is a derriere shot on cable or tv, members that most mornings take warm, soapy showers indulging in an erotic fantasy while panting to your name and looking at the portrait on your book cover.  You already got them in your corner. Forget about those already on the team, take maters into your own hand, take control of your destiny and bash them upstart conservatives utilising the best and most up to date techniques to squelch media opposition South American wanna be dictators have come up with…..

1. Start defaming and slandering conservatives by running spots on a massive scale on tv and cable during high viewership events or shows utilising government funds with the excuse of informing the public. Run spots stating: nobody believes them; and: freedom to aggress no, freedom of expression yes. After a while such opinions become engrained in the psyche of those watching tv or cable. Also try to be on tv every day, as many times a day as possible, bashing the opposition. Make the public believe you are fierce, a tiger, a lion, and that the opposition are cream puffs melting under your onslaught.

2. Judicial activism. Appoint a few or even better a lot of liberal activist judges to harass, fine and force those opposing you to change their editorial content from conservative to liberal also forcing them to constantly apologize for any perceived slander. Works like a charm specially if you inject the bigot and race card.

3. Have your cronies in Congress pass communication laws curtailing freedom of speech no mater that they are unconstitutional as the activist judges you appointed will always rule Congress is right, never mind what the Constitution says, and those nasty conservatives wrong. Even better include a page or two in said laws making a bureaucrat appointed by you the one that decides whats fair, slanderous, libelous, etc., you get complete control. Muahahahaha.

4. Force all members of the news media to join an association with the excuse that certain minimum standards need to be enforced headed by your cronies of course that can police, reprimand and even kick out of the journalism profession those that dare write, speak, etc., comments opposing your reign. After a while the only journalists left around will be those that swoon when they see a high pixel glossy photograph of you coming out of the ocean, water cascading down your bare muscled chest, wearing form hugging swimming trunks, in a magazine article telling the world how great you are.

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